it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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