That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Randomize
