mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
