Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
