that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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