some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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