you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Randomize
