You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
