just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
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