I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Randomize
