You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
