I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
