If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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