i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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