OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
