The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
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