its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
