I wanna bring you to show and tell
they need to just BURY HIM!
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
