Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
