how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
