I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
