I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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