Can i not drive my cunt home
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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