4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
