True but thats because hes a fetus.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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