Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
