If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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