Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
