why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
