is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
