My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
