that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
You had me at "let me see your balls"
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
