her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
