its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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