There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
