omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
