real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
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