They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
How external is "for external use only"?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
