ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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