So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
