He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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