whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
