I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Randomize
