Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
These tits shall not be calmed
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
