Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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