Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
