everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
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