This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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