I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize