no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
