and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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