Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
