It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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