I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
