You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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