oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
