Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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