im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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