She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
