This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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