How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
